Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
