why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
