do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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