How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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