Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize