I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
