I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
