just come out here and I will go home with you...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
