If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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