She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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