Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
