On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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