She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
