i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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