i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
