drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
