I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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