apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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