I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
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I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
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Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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