New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
