I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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