I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
