i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
