this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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