my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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