im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I need a beard to bite.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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