Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
