It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
