You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sorry about my life...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize