I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize