My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
