K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
