so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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