Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
