tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
