I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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