Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
