Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
