You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
