I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
