Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
