Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize