I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
