Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
