she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
