I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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