i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
