girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Small penises have feelings too.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
