Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
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Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I forget how to act sober
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