he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize