but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
