This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
