you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
