they need to just BURY HIM!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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