i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
