I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
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My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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