Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Randomize
