I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
