I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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