So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
