so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
