I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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